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18 Jun 2018

10 Commandments Every Girlfriend And Wife Need To Follow

The 2018 World Cup is finally here.

During this time, all men need to set some ground rules that will ensure peaceful coexistence with their women. So I Prophet Philip went to Mount Sinai and acquired some commandments that wives and girlfriends ought to adhere to..

1. Thou shall not pass in front of the TV during a match.

This is a capital offence that is punishable by getting shouted at like you are a nobody. If you have to pass, please crawl on the floor or fly like Superman. Thank you.

2. Thou shall not touch the remote control unless you have been given the clearance to do so.

3. Thou shall avoid the following words if your man’s team loses,

It’s only a game!!! They’ll win next time!!!

4. Thou shall not say any player is hot….especially this guy below.

To you, there’s supposed to be only one hot man in the world and that’s the man watching TV. Your man.

5. Thou shall not ask silly questions such as “Is this Arsenal vs Brazil?”

6. Thou should inform thy friends not to wed or give birth during the World Cup weeks because…..

a) we will not attend…..b) we will not attend c) we will not attend …. d) all of the above.

7. Thou shall remain silent during all games unless you are asking “Do you want me serve you supper now my love?”

8. Thou shall support the team your man supports by default.

9. Thou shall not complain if the quantity of lovemaking reduces.

It is only a temporary outage. Services shall resume back to normal after July 15th.

10. Thou shall not break any of the above commandments and if you do, the results are;

1st disobedience; receive a warning
2nd disobedience; Be told to get out of the room
3rd disobedience; Break up or divorce

Jointly signed,
Husbands and boyfriends.
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