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19 Jan 2018

Dated Him For 6 Years, Had 7 Abortions, Paid His Fees And He Married My Best Friend

This is touching story of a Nigerian lady who gave her all to one man only to be unfortunately treated badly by her man.
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This story might just make you CRY.. Literally. This story is saddening, saddening because the lady in question may or may not be able to conceive again. Saddening because, some men are truly scum and also, because a lover was not only fooled but a close friend was used to fill the gap. Life! More.
In the year 2009, Ms. J who resides in Abuja, rounded up her Secondary School studies and like many other Nigerian fresh high school graduates, she attempted JAMB. (For readers who aren’t familiar with our great country’s education system, Joint Admissions and Matriculations Board (JAMB) is a Nigerian entrance examination board for tertiary-level institutions.
The board conducts entrance examinations for prospective undergraduates into Nigerian universities. Of course, she was a very smart girl, so she passed with a good score (297 to be precise) and luckily for her, she was shortlisted for PUME (An examination conducted by Universities to further screen candidates).
Fast forward to her journey to the West, she was to stay with her aunt for her PUME and like every concerned Nigerian parents, they had instructed her aunt (father’s youngest sister) to make sure she read thoroughly for her PUME which was suppose to hold in few days. But truly, they didn’t even need to go that far, because she was a “serious-bookworm”, a bookworm who intentionally bereft herself from the pleasures of “hanging out or making friends” but made sure her books followed her wherever she went to!
In fact, she was the Library prefect in her Secondary School days (I forgot to chip that in, earlier.) Few days after flying into town, it was time for her to yet again make her family proud. Her aunt drove her to the University…. It was the University for the big boys and girls.
The University where things happen.. The University where “all dem ladies” loved packaging themselves. She went in for her PUME and came out with smiles. She knew she had worked her usual magic and was very certain her first attempt into University was a done-deal.
She had asked and begged her parents to let her stay with her aunt for a while, so as to chill with her (her aunt wasn’t married by the way).
Her parents agreed, after all, she was with her closest relative they thought, it wouldn’t be so nice to just let her breeze in for her PUME then out immediately she’s done. “Give the girl some breathing space”, they thought. Her aunt was an entrepreneur who had a thriving Digital Agency, which was quite popular. She had a staff strength of about 25.
Mr. J in his final year, had issues with some courses, so he automatically had an extra year. Ms. J was in her 4th year now, and about to graduate. Her grades had somewhat nose-dived because of the stress in her relationship. Things weren’t going as planned anymore and it now looked like she was just a sex-doll for him, yet, she still had hope that he loved her. That same year, she had another 3 abortions, and on her sixth attempt, she almost died of complications. In fact, the doctor said he won’t be involved in any abortion case concerning her, anymore. She almost bled to death. It was at this point she started re-thinking life.(But this didn’t last for long because she was blinded by love)
Just like her boyfriend, she had issues with some courses and had to re-sit. That year saw her G.P fall like an Iroko tree. She started struggling with average grades in almost all papers. Her boyfriend finally graduated with a 2.1 after sorting some lecturers (money he got from his bae) and was posted to Abuja for his NYSC. She was ecstatic after hearing about this because she had planned to relocate full time to Abuja immediately after the completion of her studies. Her law school was already prepped by her parents in Abuja. (They were that influential).
Titi had graduated before her and left the university to her base in Oyo State. She regularly spoke to her concerning life’s matters and most importantly, issues between she and her bae Even after graduating, Ms. J was still financially responsible for him and the funny thing is, after four years of dating, he never for once even introduced her to his nuclear family. (He always had an excuse each time she raised the topic. Always!) After 3 weeks in Kubwa camp, and getting his Place of Primary Assignment (PPA), he headed back to Lagos to see his family and also, Ms. J. Unbeknownst to her, he actually came to see her so she could help him raise some money to rent a boys quarters (BQ) he found which was close to his primary assignment.
The sum was quite much, but she just had to raise it so he could be comfortable in Abuja, she did the usual, sent funds to his account. After that day, he was coming to their lodge for steady knacks.. She fell pregnant again! And like always, was asked to do the needful which she reluctantly did. (Her 7th abortion in 4 years). Because their regular abortion-expert doctor refused to do the D&C, they had to travel all the way to another state to flush it. Titi had recommended a good doctor. After the successful D&C, the doctor made it known to her that, she might not be able to bear a child again because her womb may have been affected. And she decided to share this vital information with her best friend, Titi… (Ladies, keeping to yourself helps a whole lot).
Fast forward to her graduation and relocation back to Abuja: Titi had started her Law School earlier and was based in Abuja too, a stone-throw from Mr.J’s house. In fact, Ms. J was aware they sometimes visited themselves. Ms. J begged her friend to help with foodstuffs for her bae, which she obliged. Their bond became stronger, then the “long-overdue affection” began to manifest. Titi had made it known that she always had feelings for him since University days and was jealous of her his relationship with Ms. J. Mr. J also, made it known that, he felt same way and though he never buzzed her after collecting her digit way back in school, his main intention was to get to know her better but couldn’t because he somewhat had Ms.J full time at home and didn’t want to arouse suspicion.
Titi decided to spill the beans on her best-friend’s inability to bear a child and immediately Mr. J heard it, he found a LEVERAGE to leave her. Citing that, he definitely won’t be with her anymore because what he is looking for right now is a WIFE MATERIAL. When Ms. J came back to Abuja, she noticed Mr. J had changed towards her, and in fact, each time they had sex, he always wore a condom, cold shoulders, lackadaisical attitude towards her and rarely even called or checked up on her but still, she was still giving him his regular pay check on a monthly (50k). Three months gone, his behaviour worsened, it was clearer to her that she probably had lost his love. So one day, she decided to show up at his, unannounced. Lo and behold, she met bae with Titi, lying down in his bed,…. Stark Naked! (My question at this point was, since he heard a knock on his door and most likely verified it was Ms. J, why didn’t he ask Titi to dress up? At least, even if she had her clothes on, she won’t have been really fussed!)…..
The answer I got was; maybe they were tired of hiding and didn’t care anymore. She was greeted with a smile from her supposed BEST FRIEND and before she could say a word, Mr. J said, “I broke up with you long ago, I broke up with you the very day I was told you may not be able to bear children. How will I marry a barren woman?” Right there and then, she knew Titi was behind this but all she could do was sob and leave… 5+ years of her life gone, 5+ years of so many sacrifices for Mr. J, 5+ years of giving her all for the relationship. 5+ years gone to the drain.. 5 + years! All these flooded her thoughts. As I write this, Ms. J is out of the country and an IV for Titi and Mr. J’s wedding has flooded Social Media. Titi and her Ms.J’s ex dated for a year+ and decided to tie the knot. Mr. J now works in a big Engineering Firm in PortHarcourt while Titi just finished her NYSC.
The wedding is for 27th,January What a life!
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Item Reviewed: Dated Him For 6 Years, Had 7 Abortions, Paid His Fees And He Married My Best Friend Rating: 5 Reviewed By: Link Naija